The Fleets
 |  |  |
| Incontinental Fleet | Specific Fleet | BARFleet |
 |  |  |
| TEALS Fleet (defunct) | Fleet W (defunct) | Merchant Marine |
Highlighting denotes ships on active status
CURRENT FLEET MAP
Gunboats
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Bellabike | Pickle | Fungus | G. Bride | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "It's Not a Scooter" |
| USS Caseus | Fromage | Llamatown | J. Mercer | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Benedicam Tibi" |
| USS Creta | Hooligan | Llamatown | C. Mercer | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Gear On! Gear Up!" |
| USS Fezzik | Battering Ram | Moronto | D. Morgan | Incontinental | Active | "Ego Cum In Brutis" |
| USS Lester B. | Shop | Moronto | D. Morgan | Incontinental | Dry Docked | "Rubber Inferiorium Partum" |
| USS Naked | Nipple | Llamatown | J. Mercer | Incontinental | Active | "All A Quiver" |
| USS Photon | Quantum | Llamatown | C. Mercer | Incontinental | Active | "No Rest" |
| USS Sting | Hornet | Llamatown | J. Mercer | Incontinental | Dry Docked | "Sting or Be Stung" |
| USS Storm | Jedi | Llamatown | C. Mercer | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Non Est Experiri" |
Patrol Ships
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Angus | | Boredom | J. Blakeney | Merchant Marine | Decommissioned | " " |
| USS Antoine | Twotone | Byetown | P. Robillard | Incontinental | Sunk | "Fly Low, Sweet Chariot" |
| USS Blaster | Yodel | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "Eat Wave" |
| USS Daisy | Alternate | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "How Many Grins Can You Fit in a Fish?" |
| USS Fruitfly | Hiccup | Byetown | P. Robillard | Incontinental | Sunk | "Squash Me" |
| USS Geekmobile | Paidfor | Byetown | E. Jacksch | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Nun Quam Cede" |
| USS Golf Crisis | T | Lahr | K. Robertson | TEALS | Sunk | "Are We Shooting?" |
| USS Gopher | | | D. Pitzel | Incontinental | Active | "You Can Watch Me Sail Away For Three Days" |
| USS Hornet's Nest | Freedom | Llamatown | P. Robillard | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "?" |
| USS Iguana | Innocuous | Llamatown | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "De Rerum Stultarum" |
| USS Jammer | Tulip | Byetown | P. Robillard | Incontinental | Reserve | "Louee Louee" |
| USS Krankenshaft | T | Lahr | R. MacGillivray | TEALS | Decommissioned | "Par For The Course" |
| USS Kroten Wanderung | Twotone | Lahr | A. McNicoll | TEALS | Decommissioned | "Closer Than They Appear" |
| USS Le Grume | Stromberg | Byetown | E. Jacksch | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Watch Your Head" |
| USS Namepending | Constithreetion | Byetown | D. Yarker | Incontinental | Sunk | "Ahhhh" |
| USS Placeholder | | Byetown | D. Yarker | Merchant Marine | Active | " " |
| USS Queen Moneca | Dowager | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Sundae Driver" |
| USS Tiptoe | Tulip | Byetown | D. Lavictoire | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Shhh" |
| USS Turtle | Bridesmaid's | SFD | K. Michiels | Merchant Marine | Decommissioned | "Made of Honour" |
| USS Vibrator | Beebe | Lahr | M. Dostie | TEALS | Decommissioned | "Batteries Not Included" |
Corvettes
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS 13 Red | Phoebe | Montsurreal | A. McNicoll | Incontinental | Lost at Sea | "Les Jeux Sont Faits" |
| USS Bagnole | Corpus Collossum | Montsurreal | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | "Smoooooth" |
| USS Blind Spot | | FOB Wellie | B. MacGillivray | Merchant Marine | Decommissioned | "Carpe Vinum" |
| USS Blistex | Cutter | Byetown | L. Wall | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Protecting The Lips That Kiss" |
| USS Blueprint | Damite | Lost Wages | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Decommissioned | "124 and the A/C Don't Work" |
| USS Booger | Algebra | Lahr | R. MacGillivray | TEALS | Decommissioned | "If Bleach Don't Whiten It" |
| USS Bubbles | Kumquat | Moronto | M. Klinowski | Merchant Marine | Inctive | "Tears Dry On Their Own " |
| USS Bucephalus | Tessier | Bosstown | M. MacWilliam | Incontinental | Lost at Sea | "Back In the Fish" |
| USS Buttercup | Makeup | Byetown | P. Chamois | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "We Suck It Up" |
| USS Buttercup II | Makeup | Byetown | P. Chamois | Incontinental | Active | "We Like Candy" |
| USS C.I.S.I.L. Fault | United | Byetown | K. Baird | Incontinental | Disavowed | "Blame Liam" |
| USS Collision | Skipped | Spam Harbour | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Decommissioned | "Ice Is Slippery" |
| USS Deathtrap | Little | Lost Wages | R. Murray | Merchant Marine | Sunk | |
| USS Doc Brown | | Byetown | K. Baird | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "1.21 Jigawatts?!?" |
| USS Figment | Whatzitz | Byetown | I. Douglas | Incontinental | Lost at Sea | "Into The Great Unknown" |
| USS Firework | Ruby | Blandford | G. Tuckey | Incontinental | Active | "Don't Take Shortcuts" |
| USS Fuhgettaboudid | Shitbox | Fungus | G. Bride | Merchant Marine | Decommissioned | "The One That Goes Whoosh" |
| USS Fukengruven | Edelweiss | Byetown | K. Oelrich | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Promedade" |
| USS Fuzzyboxers | Cancelled | Byetown | K. Robertson | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "We Like 'Em Fuzzy" |
| USS Gofasta | Whitzitz | Byetown | K. Robertson | Incontinental | Sunk | "Weather or Not" |
| USS Goodfella | Ruby | Boredom | D. Pitzel | Incontinental | Lost at sea | "Hangin' with Steve McQueen" |
| USS Goshawk | Corpus Collossum | Moronto | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Reserve | "I Haven't a Clue" |
| USS Graescel | Corpus Collossum | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "Last Brain For Clarkston" |
| USS Green Hornet | Hermes | Moronto | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "D is for Drive" |
| USS Grey Ghost | Fuelless | Deathbridge | M. Dostie | Specific | Active | "Fait Lux et Parvus Oleum" |
| USS Grosse Pomme | St. Andre | Montsurreal | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Intuable" |
| USS Guinness | Company | SFD | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Decommissioned | "Through a Glass Darkly" |
| USS Handbasket | Hookey | Moronto | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Reserve | |
| USS Hot Ride | Whatzitz | Byetown | P. Chamois | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "She Feared No Evil For She Knew No Sin" |
| USS Hyper Lynx | Ruby | Blandford | G. Tuckey | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "while(!(succeed=try()));" |
| USS Idanoe | Whatzitz | Moronto | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Reserve | |
| USS Incepto | Mothball | Llamatown | C. Mercer | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Straight On 'Till Morning" |
| USS Indigo Montoya | Maltese | Llamatown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Active | "Inconceivable" |
| USS Javelin | ? | Byetown | D. Munn | Incontinental | Active | "Pointy end goes into the other guy" |
| USS Kiniggit | Pemberton | Byetown | D. Munn | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "She turned me into a Newt" |
| USS Latrine | Repair | Area 42 | D. Munn | Incontinental | Sunk | "It's So Broken It Can't Get Any Worse" |
| USS Maltese Falcon | Spade | Llamatown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Hear Me Baby, Hold Together" |
| USS Manhattan | Junkpile | Byetown | P. Robillard | Incontinental | Sunk | "Torpedo Bait" |
| USS Mediocris | | | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Decommissioned | " " |
| USS Ninja | Ruby | Montsurreal | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Active | " " |
| USS Oogway | Ruby | Blandford | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "There Are No Accidents" |
| USS Paeple Eater | Cerebellum | Llamatown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "No Guts No Nothin'" |
| USS Pemberton | Wave | Blandford | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | |
| USS Practical | Rebel | SFD | R. Dosenbach | Merchant Marine | Disavowed | |
| USS Radio Flyer | Weaver | No Worth Bay | M. Dostie | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Without a Permit" |
| USS Red | Nikola | FOB Wellie | B. MacGillivray | Merchant Marine | Active | "In Vino Veritas" |
| USS Reginod | Packlid | Nude Bunswich | K. Robertson | Incontinental | Sunk | "We Are Far From Home" |
| USS Silver Spoon | Maltese | Blandford | A. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Casu Consulto" |
| USS Stardust | Maltese | Llamatown | A. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Active | "Falling With Style" |
| USS Supreme | Shitbox | Petawhowho | M. Dostie | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Do You Have Any Cement?" |
| USS Tacky | Shitbox | Nude Bunswich | K. Robertson | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Have Gas, Will Travel" |
| USS Thingamajigger | Ruby | Blandford | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "On An Adventure" |
| USS Tin Cup | Ruby | Blandford | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Take The Lead" |
| USS Wandering Buoy | Pemberton | Blandford | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Reserve | "Always" |
Sloops
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Glass Slipper | Ambassador | SFD | P. Goddard | Specific | Reserve | "Champagne's in the Back" |
| USS Henry Duvall | Stackhouse | Byetown | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | |
| USS Pumpkin | Ambassador | SFD | R. MacGillivray | Specific | Reserve | "Without a Hitch" |
| USS Tyrone Power | Stackhouse | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | |
Corsairs
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Beast | Middle | Llamatown | C. Mercer | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Follow the Litre" |
| USS Bender | | Byetown | K. Sharkey | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "" |
| USS Borderjumper | Packrat | Blandford | P. Bell | Incontinental | Inctive | "Non Sepem In Me" |
| USS Gimme The Prize | Connery | Byetown | K. Sharkey | Incontinental | Mothballed | "There Can Be Only One" |
| USS Hammer of George | Gauntlet | Moronto | G. Bragg | Incontinental | Active | "Gotcha" |
| USS Knockoff | Ozzy | Seattle | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Active | "Satis Est " |
| USS Mulum | Impulse | Byetown | D. Munn | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Stubborn, Willful, Froward" |
| USS Pylon | Concentrated | Llamatown | C. Mercer | Incontinental | Active | "Videatur!" |
| USS Warthog | Impulse | Byetown | D. Munn | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Ut Deus damnet crus" |
| USS Wartburg | Hoofprint | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Merchant Marine | Decommissioned | "Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'" |
| USS Wherethefukawe | Packrat | Blandford | C. Bell | Incontinental | Inctive | "Never Stop for Directions" |
| USS Whiner | Lutz | Montsurreal | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | "Do We Have To?" |
Frigates
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Anti-Pretzle | Angst | Llamatown | J. Mercer | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "A Salt Force" |
| USS Demeter | Hammer | Llamatown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "If I Had a Hammer" |
| USS Douglas Pratley | Physics | Lahr | R. MacGillivray | TEALS | Decommissioned | "Voopah, Voopah" |
| USS Half Moon | Angst | FOB Wellie | K. Robertson | Merchant Marine | Sunk | "One Half Step" |
| USS Highlightning | Lower | Petawhowho | M. Dostie | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Ripe and Pillage" |
| USS L'Il Hank | Rondayvoo | Llamatown | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | "Make It Squeak" |
| USS Packlid | Reginod | Llamatown | S. Clarke | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "We Look For Things" |
| USS Tin Can | Lower | SFD | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Decommissioned | "Bail" |
| USS Vansectomy | | Byetown | K. Sharkey | Incontinental | Active | " " |
| USS Voorlath, RUC | Upper | Algary | L. Wall/M. Tribe | Specific | Decommissioned | "Lucida Ultio " |
Destroyers
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Appalling | | Llamatown | P. Robillard | Incontinental | Sunk | "Get The Lead Out" |
| USS Bloop | Latefor | Winnemucca | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Reserve | "Not Just A Pretty Face" |
| USS Goupil | Schwannboat | Montsurreal | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | "Close Enough" |
| USS Schwannboat | Ludwig | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "A Lighting Cue" |
Light Cruisers
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Elvis | X | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Decommissioned | "Vous Etes Ici" |
| USS Leapfrog | Elvis | Byetown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "Are We There Yet?" |
| USS Meatplow | Elvis | Montsurreal | D. Morgan | Incontinental | Reserve | "Absolutely" |
Cruisers
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Byetown | Remedial | Moronto | M. Dosenbach | Incontinental | Sunk | "Superior Incompetence" |
| USS King Penny | Daft | Llamatown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "Cocamu" |
| USS Mae West | Daft | Llamatown | K. Oelrich | Incontinental | Reserve | "When I'm Bad I'm Better" |
| USS Margarita | Byetown | SFD | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "Margaritas for Everyone" |
| USS Pride of Slabovia | Byetown | | M. Dosenbach | Specific | Active | "Pulsis Nocte" |
Heavy Cruisers
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Ashurbanipal | Voyageur | Moronto | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | "And Another Comes On" |
| USS Lloyd D. Jackson | TH&B | Llamatown | R. MacGillivray | Incontinental | Reserve | "Go Cat Go" |
| USS Miss Toast | Rossler | Lahr | R. MacGillivray | TEALS | Decommissioned | "The Wurst Is Yet To Come" |
| USS Nebuchadnezzar | Voyageur | Byetown | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | "Speed Up A Little Bit" |
| USS Nebuchadrezzar | Voyageur | Montsurreal | P. Goddard | Incontinental | Reserve | "Round and Round" |
| USS Nikita | Rushin | Lahr | D. Yarker | TEALS | Decommissioned | "On Your Left" |
| USS Robert Kerr | Drama | Byetown | G. Bragg | Incontinental | Reserve | "Ask The Air" |
Battleships
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Nosnibor | Graduate | Byetown | D. Morgan | Incontinental | Reserve | "Coo Coo Ka Choo" |
Dreadnoughts
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
Spacecraft
| NAME | CLASS | HOMEPORT | SKIPPER(S) | FLEET | STATUS | MOTTO |
|---|
| USS Don Quixote | English | | G. Bragg | BARFLEET | Active | "Merda Accidit" |
| USS Meatshield | | | Various | BARFLEET | Active | "Victory and/or Death" |
| USS Matthew Jeffries | | | Various | BARFLEET | Active | "Down The Tubes" |